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26. Between Attempting and Committing.

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How to Grow Old the Right Way Up
Tuesday 12th August 2014

26. Between Attempting and Committing

Just yesterday I wrote in one of my websites that it is curious how people talk about attempting suicide, and nothing is said about attempting life.
It is very sad to hear that someone we know off has committed suicide. It is twice as sad if that person has made us laugh as Robin Williams did.
But I wonder if it isn’t sadder to see and know of the millions of people around us who might be attempting life and not committing it.
I must read about Robin, but somehow I have a feeling that he might have committed life; that he might have embraced it all, good and bad, in sickness and in health, in happiness and pain. And that will always be for me, a worthwhile and well-lived life.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS

1. I am not a health practitioner of any description. The tips I will be giving are directly related to my personal experience and my experiences with family and friends who seem to have benefited from those tips. Please if in doubt, always consult a qualified practitioner.
2. With their permission, I will be mentioning in these pages the names and expertise of many people who have contributed to my current state of health. See also the Links page. Whenever possible and relevant, I will be leading you to their websites or giving you a direct contact if you ask me. Nobody is or will be paying me or rewarding me in any way for doing so. I will be doing it because they are wonderful practitioners, to whom I owe much and to whom I am very happy to direct people to, for the benefit of all. I don’t and won’t recommend anyone whose help and expertise I haven’t experienced and benefited from directly.

http://www.patrissiacuberos.com
http://www.thethermodynamicsoflove.co.uk
thescienceoftheimprobable.wordpress.com

3. The 92 Elements and the Law of Octaves.

25. The Joys of Growing Old.

 

We all know that growing old has very bad publicity. The fault is not in our stars, but in the advertisers: ourselves.
I propose that we correct that. At the tender age of 61, I am living the happiest time in my life; the easiest time in my life; the most joyous time in my life. Mind you, I planned it that way.
Between the ages of 37 and 41, when I was supposed to die according to the lines on my palm, but mostly according to my mental and physical poor health, I created a plan for accepting the dreaded old age with all its trail of ills and struggle.
I reasoned that I should have something to look forward to. Then I thought that having grandchildren would be lovely. They haven’t arrived yet, and the potential parents are mostly reluctant or too young. However, joy is here!
I decided that I would have an activity that I could carry on or even start in my old age, (I believe lots of people die of sheer boredom!) then I drag out of the bag of memories my 8-year-old cherished desire to become a writer some day, published read and loved. This blog is only my third appearance in front of someone else’s eyes, after a couple of years as collaborator and Editor (once!) of the short-lived Banbury Magazine and a shy appearance in the modest Wheel Magazine. But hey! I am a published writer!
Although the publication date for my first novel, The Secret Life of a God (Book I of The Thermodynamics of Love Trilogy, which started as a single novel in 2000) keeps peeping at me from a forever extending horizon, it will be self-published, hopefully, within the next couple of months. That was a non-disguised attempt at a publicity stunt!
I decided also to do whatever I could to improve my health and therefore my quality of life. And here I am, healthier than I remember in the last 20 or 40 years. Hurrah!
But, along the way I have discovered many other simple, but life quality enhancing, bits and bobs. For example, when I reached 60, I realized I didn’t have to be perfect. I didn’t have to know everything or to have the right answers. It took me that long! I hope you realize sooner than me.
I realized that I could never make my thighs smaller or my boobs bigger, but that thank God, at my age I wasn’t expected to be pretty or beautiful or attractive. Therefore, anything I had and have in those departments is a bonus! I do love when people express surprise when they learn my age. It doesn’t always happen, but it doesn’t depress me or bothers me in the least if they don’t.
I realized that I could take things easy. My level of obligations to myself and others seem to have decreased in inverse proportion to my age.
I wrote this blog every Saturday till the beginning of June come what may. But I have no obligation, and no one is asking for it. If you do, I will be delighted of course.

I also felt that the blog needed another element. Therefore, I will be starting a series of Vlogs soon with more practical advice, taking stock of experiences that in my view have helped me to Grow Old the Righ Way UP.
If you have any experiences to share that will constitute positive advertising for growing old, do please drop us a line or post a comment here at howtogrowoldtherightwayup.wordpress.com, or on my FB personal or blog pages.
Till next time.

By the way if you are curious at all, have a look at my other blog, the Science of the Improbable, and at my websites: www.patrissiacuberos.com and www.thethermodynamicsoflove.co.uk

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS

1. I am not a health practitioner of any description. The tips I will be giving are directly related to my personal experience and my experiences with family and friends who seem to have benefited from those tips. Please if in doubt, always consult a qualified practitioner.
2. With their permission I will be mentioning in these pages the names and expertise of many people who have contributed to my current state of health. See also the Links page. Whenever possible and relevant, I will be leading you to their websites or giving you a direct contact if you ask me. Nobody is or will be paying me or rewarding me in any way for doing so. I will be doing it because they are wonderful practitioners, to whom I owe much and to whom I am very happy to direct people to, for the benefit of all. I don’t and won’t recommend anyone whose help and expertise I haven’t experienced and benefited from directly.

2. Rational Doubt/Irrational Belief: The Speed of Light.

Sunday 13th July 2014

24. Sunday in the mind.

If you have been following this blog, you might have noticed that I have always published my posts on a Saturday. It has been my morning dedicated to this specific task.
Today, you know, it’s Sunday. I had decided to give a break to this blog as it has become increasingly difficult to commit the time on Saturdays with anniversaries (plural!) end of year concerts with my choirs, travel, etc.
But today I realized once more, how creative my mind becomes on Sundays. For years, until my health made me stop, I used to work 24/7. Nowadays my main commitment on Sundays is to make sure I keep away from any and all “have to do”. As a consequence, I am often far more productive and faster than any other day of the week.
Therefore, I am going to endeavour to create a feeling of Sunday in my mind, whenever I have the space and the time. Let me know if you try and if it works for you.
Till next time… some time on a Sunday in my mind.

For something completely different, have a look at my new blog, The Science of the Improbable.

http://www.patrissiacuberos.com

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS

1. I am not a health practitioner of any description. The tips I will be giving are directly related to my personal experience and my experiences with family and friends who seem to have benefited from those tips. Please if in doubt, always consult a qualified practitioner.
2. With their permission I will be mentioning in these pages the names and expertise of many people who have contributed to my current state of health. See also the Links page. Whenever possible and relevant, I will be leading you to their websites or giving you a direct contact if you ask me. Nobody is or will be paying me or rewarding me in any way for doing so. I will be doing it because they are wonderful practitioners, to whom I owe much and to whom I am very happy to direct people to, for the benefit of all. I don’t and won’t recommend anyone whose help and expertise I haven’t experienced and benefited from directly.

How to Grow Old the Right Way Up
Saturday 21st June 2014

23. Grace and Gratitude

I believe I am normally very grateful to life and everyone around me for the abundance I enjoy. However, far too often, I find myself wishing for more money, a house of my own, and in general, for some things to be different to what they are. Thinking of this made me remember a singular moment of gratitude that will probably stay with me forever.
I arrived in England, nearly 30 years ago, with a head full of dreams of fame and fortune and a scholarship that guaranteed my subsistence as a single person only. My husband arrived one month later with a letter of acceptance from Oxford University, no scholarship or grant of any description, holly shoes (full of holes!), U$14 in his pocket, and our two boys, aged 6 and 7. I remember walking the streets of Oxford with my two greatest treasures, dressed in their little blue dungarees, travel present from their poor but overgenerous grandparents, feeling as if I had won the lottery’s biggest prize. And indeed I had, by fulfilling my main dream of bringing my little family to Europe against all odds.
In money terms, we were extremely poor. I went out to clean houses for 8/9 hours, 3 days a week and to London for my post-graduate studies the other 3. Sunday was for the family. My husband wrote endless applications and letters in order to try to get some money to fund his studies and our living in UK.
As Christmas approached, David, our eldest son, wrote a most endearing letter to Father Christmas asking for a Lego Car he was desperate to have. I believe he was very aware of how poor his real Father Christmas was. My husband and I tried to stretch here, cut there, but after the necessary calculations, we definitely didn’t have the £14 for the Lego car. Christmas had only aggravated our situation as the people I cleaned for were on holidays, and there were no gardens for my husband to do or government offices open to answer his constant letters and requests.
However, my son’s eyes bore on us, full of illusion and expectation and we decided to go through the embarrassment of borrowing money in the hope that in January, with the renewal of my cleaning contracts and perhaps the magical appearance of a sponsor for my husband’s studies, we would be able to repay it. Eventually, we did, but it is a miraculous, yet different story.
According to our tradition, on Christmas Eve we gave to the boys all the little presents we had for them, including some from generous friends. On purpose we hid the car under the sofa together with an equivalent present for our youngest son.
Every time a present was read and opened, we could see David’s breath stopping. Each time, he put up with the obvious deception, bravely and graciously.
My husband and I glanced at each other from time to time slightly concerned, but we decided to keep going. When at last it looked as if there were no more presents, David stood up and came to embrace us, making very clear that he was very grateful for our efforts. But his little face said it all. He dropped a very quiet comment on the lines of “I was hoping that dad would have received a scholarship or something and then perhaps Father Christmas would bring me my Lego car.” He immediately checked himself in order to not to sound ungrateful. “But it is ok. All the presents are very very nice. Thank you mum and dad!” And went back to his toys. Then, my husband said: “Wait a minute…” I think there is something else we forgot…” and proceeded to take the Lego car out of its hiding place and another equivalent present for Daniel.
David’s face became bright red and his eyes were as full of tears as mine are, remembering that moment. He jumped to hug our legs saying: “Thank you, thank you…” so many times that it left no doubt that he not only appreciated the present, but that he was somehow aware of the effort it had meant to us.
Perhaps the memory of that moment has always made easy for me to give as much as I can to this grateful child of mine, now a man, who at least twice a year gives me a card that often says that he is very grateful to have me as mother. I have no words to express how grateful I am to have him as a son.
I imagine life, God, the power of our mind or whatever we think brings blessings to our lives, is like a loving father: ready to give. But often, we complain because it is not the right colour or the exact thing we asked for. Would a parent be inclined to give again and again to a child that is never happy with what he/she receives?
That thought keeps me grateful as I have experienced for many years now, that, the more grateful I am, the more I receive, and most importantly, the more I notice whatever I receive. But I still have a long way to go.

Someday I hope to arrive to a state of constant and graceful gratitude.
.

http://www.patrissiacuberos.com

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS

1. I am not a health practitioner of any description. The tips I will be giving are directly related to my personal experience and my experiences with family and friends who seem to have benefited from those tips. Please if in doubt, always consult a qualified practitioner.
2. With their permission I will be mentioning in these pages the names and expertise of many people who have contributed to my current state of health. See also the Links page. Whenever possible and relevant, I will be leading you to their websites or giving you a direct contact if you ask me. Nobody is or will be paying me or rewarding me in any way for doing so. I will be doing it because they are wonderful practitioners, to whom I owe much and to whom I am very happy to direct people to, for the benefit of all. I don’t and won’t recommend anyone whose help and expertise I haven’t experienced and benefited from directly.

0*. Improbable? Or Just Un-provable.

How to Grow Old the Right Way Up

Saturday 7th June 2014

 

22. HEALTH RISKS AND THE RISKS OF HEALTH

 

 

On Monday, I saw at the surgery a man I have been watching in and out of pubs for the last 7 years: bulbous red nose, unhealthy skin, thin as a rake, normally with a cigarette hanging from his lips. I could hear his rattling cough from the waiting room while he queued in front the reception desk.

 

After my routine blood test, I saw him again sitting at the Chemists waiting area. He looked worried and kept rubbing the area around his left lung. I wondered if the dangers of smoking had at last, caught up with him and if he now wishes he had paid heed to all the advice.

 

Perhaps because of my poor health during my younger years, I grew up with the eyes of a diagnostician. I often look at people and sense what might be ailing them. I am frequently right, as experience has proved. I often wish I could stop people in the street and tell them: “Watch out what you eat” or “Do this or that”, but I don’t think many people would take it kindly or be interested. It is particularly hard when your loved ones do things that you know from personal experience, to be harmful. Yet, they won’t listen until their bodies force them to. Sometimes it is too late.

 

In this country, we are fortunate that we have clean water accessible to all, and regardless of the belief that poor people can’t eat properly, having been there, I know decent food is generally cheaper than fast food. I am not talking about the over priced, often faddist organic labelled food. Very nice, and good for you, but sometimes just a label.

 

Then, why don’t we all eat healthily, avoid smoking, avoid drinking in excess, avoid harmful substances in our environment, keep a good posture, learn to breath? Why don’t we all accept help and suggestions that would prevent illness or even improve our health?

 

Perhaps because being healthy has certain risks many of us are unconsciously afraid off:

 

If we are healthy:

  • We have no excuse to not to work hard.
  • We have no excuse to not to be relied upon by your family and friends.
  • We have no excuse to be lazy.
  • Worse than that, people might envy rather than pity us..
  • One more problem in this country is that if you are on health related benefits and you get better, you will lose them.

 

However, in my view, the gained benefits are far greater than what we could lose. Nowadays, I experience ecstatic pleasure having a piece of toast with butter (a forbidden substance for most of my younger years) and jam (another, forbidden for over 11 years), or going for a walk ( I couldn’t walk for more than 20 minutes or so, for several years), or carrying stuff that would have sent me into spasms of pain not long ago.

 

So, next time you feel tempted to do or not do something that might affect your health, think, not only of the pleasures you might miss, but also of the satisfaction of being independent, self reliant and free to do the things you love doing.

 

As all types of medicine, conventional or alternative, and all manner of religious and spiritual guidance suggest, be moderate in everything, and aim to accept cheerfully what life brings to you every day.

 

I hope you are immoderate only in joy, pleasure, happiness and of course, goodness.

.

 

http://www.patrissiacuberos.com

 

 

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS

1. I am not a health practitioner of any description. The tips I will be giving are directly related to my personal experience and my experiences with family and friends who seem to have benefited from those tips. Please if in doubt, always consult a qualified practitioner.
2. With their permission I will be mentioning in these pages the names and expertise of many people who have contributed to my current state of health. See also the Links page. Whenever possible  and relevant, I will be leading you to their websites or giving you a direct contact if you ask me. Nobody is or will be paying me or rewarding me in any way for doing so. I will be doing it because they are wonderful practitioners, to whom I owe much and to whom I am very happy to direct people to, for the benefit of all. I don’t and won’t recommend anyone whose help and expertise I haven’t experienced and benefited from directly.