Tag Archive: Love

How to Grow Old the Right Way Up

Saturday 15th March 2014

Sour Grapes and Generous Wine



I expect nobody needs a definition in order to understand what a sour grape tastes like. It is important to remember though that sour grapes can look just as tempting as sweet ones.

This is the online dictionary definition for:

Generous Wine: Having a rich bouquet and flavour.

As we all know, in order to acquire that rich bouquet and flavour, you need to be old in wine terms! But you also need to have grown in sweetness and depth.

Personally, I would like to grow old like a Generous Wine: ever up in virtue. As I have mentioned in former blogs, Faith, Hope and Love: in ourselves, and for ourselves; in others, and for others, are deep truths to live by. Today I would like to add other virtues, coming also from my Catholic upbringing that I consider would help me to become a more Generous Wine:

Prudence or Cautiousness, which simply keeps us from harm. I could have done with a bit more of it many times in my life, particularly in my youth!

Justice: How can we live with ourselves if we don’t, at least, attempt to be just and fair with ourselves and others?

Fortitude or strength: Well… we know life is a bit tough; therefore we need a degree of toughness to put up a fight for what we love and what we believe in.

Temperance or moderation, which keeps us from excess, not only in drinking and eating, but also, in respectable areas such as work and exercise. Remember, you are supposed to be working to make a living, rather than working to make a dying!

To those 4 Cardinal virtues, I would like to add Modesty, which keeps our relationships with others oiled and in running order.

This week, this blog is late again because I was visiting my partner’s mother; she won’t read this; yet, I want to raise my cup of tea to a woman who is like “generous wine”: growing older, ever cheerful, ever kind, and ever up, in spite of hardship and difficulties. I also want to raise my cup of tea, to my lovely friend Nancy, whom you will meet soon in this blog, for keeping growing sweeter, wiser, more beautiful and graceful every day.

Let’s keep growing up; let’s keep growing sweeter, more generous and kinder, more loving, more canning! (not cunning).

I just created a new word:

Canning: Willing, therefore able.

Have a “Generous Wine” week. You don’t need to drink it, but of course you can if you like (in moderation!). Most importantly, BE THAT GENEROUS WINE.

Love, the Intelligent Instinct

How to Grow Old the Right Way Up

Saturday 8th Feb 2014


Love, the Intelligent Instinct



Of course from Faith and Hope we move into the last of the three Cardinal Virtues: Charity or Love.

At the risk of being controversial, I have big problems with the concept of charity and with the current semantics of the word love.

Charity seems to me overrated. We seem to need someone’s suffering in order to experience compassion. Unfortunately, I find there is a sort of selfish cathartic release associated to experiencing compassion, at least in my case. It is beautiful… but, the reason for compassion seems still questionable. Besides, charity is often a way to patronize or to clear our conscience.

Regarding the word love… it is difficult to associate the highest sort of unconditional love, or even romantic, sexual or filial love with love for Ice Cream, as delightful as Ice Cream is.

Another question is that love can be considered by the sceptics, simply as a more elevated word to designate the primeval instincts of self-preservation, procreation and protection to ensure the survival of our species… If that is all what love is, it is an Intelligent Instinct!

Whatever love is, I consider the ability of experiencing love or compassion or both, a very fortunate skill and one I am always grateful for.

I am very lucky that I experience pretty constantly love for and from people and things. Yes, I even believe that what other people call inanimate objects are animated and do love me… if only because they reflect the love/attention/intention/dream of their creator, but also the love I give them. And this, to some people perhaps stupid belief, is a useful belief for me and doesn’t seem to cause any harm to anyone. On the contrary, it has the very practical use of helping me to save money as I don’t tend to waste or to throw away anything that still seems to have life in it. It helps me to have fewer problems with machines and mechanical objects as I treat them with care. And, of course, unless I fall prey of my innate tactlessness, it also helps me to preserve jobs and relationships. It has taken me nearly a lifetime to learn to love this way. But I can assure you it is very useful and very enjoyable.

So my recipe for today is love… everything; yourself; other people; your life; your car; your job; your lack of it; your money; the lack of it (how can money love you if you don’t love it? Don’t confuse with avarice!); rain and English weather; holidays and sunshine, including the often shy English one. Love, love, love…..




1. I am not a health practitioner of any description. The tips I will be giving are directly related to my personal experience and my experiences with family and friends who seem to have benefited from those tips. Please if in doubt, always consult a qualified practitioner.
2. With their permission I will be mentioning in these pages the names and expertise of many people who have contributed to my current state of health. Whenever possible and relevant, I will be leading you to their websites or giving you a direct contact if you ask me. Nobody is or will be paying me or rewarding me in any way for doing so. I will be doing it because they are wonderful practitioners, to whom I owe much and to whom I am very happy to direct people to, for the benefit of all. I don’t and won’t recommend anyone whose help and expertise I haven’t experienced and benefited from directly.